but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
