My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
