guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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