I must be too annoying 4 u.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
