Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
