I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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