I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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