Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
