Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
