You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
