I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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