Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm sobbing to NWA
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
