we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
