So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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