so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
