Moan for me like Helen Keller
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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