Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
