The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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