I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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