been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
