I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
