You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
