he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
