How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
