I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize