I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Text me some of your sweat
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