Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
