Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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