Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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