Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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