Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
