Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize