Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize