i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
