Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I got inside last night via doggy door
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
