It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
