So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
