No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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