I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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