He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Holy shit dude........stairs
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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