Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
