i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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