Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
