It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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