i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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