So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
