I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
