Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
