im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
