Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
