That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
