You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
