you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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