I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
