dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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