I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
