That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
vagina is talking i cant
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
