i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Hippo gnu deer
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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