ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
