Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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