I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
