is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i think my mom watched the whole time
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
