I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
