first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
