it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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