Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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